Let's Talk About SEX!

I know the title may have gotten your attention, but this post won't be telling you about my latest escapade or exploit. There is nothing I could talk about on this subject that would be new and exciting or even different for that matter. However, what I have come to realize is that we take for granted the wealth of knowledge accessible to us about sex, because we are taught shame when it comes to sex. We, women especially never learn about the pleasures, because if we enjoy it, it makes us less "pure".
Before I get up on my soapbox and talk about the gender inequalities when it comes to sex, let me get back to the point. Which just in case you missed it was taking for granted the wealth of knowledge available to people. Far too often we don't know what questions to ask or where to begin to explore our sexuality or even sensuality. I know there are plenty of forums that you can ask questions on, but do people really feel like its a safe place to ask questions and get answers? There are so many perverts and just straight up assholes on those sites that I feel like people that want authentic answers don't get heard because of the nonsense that isn't filtered or regulated. Maybe other people can point me in the right direction, but that is something I think we should invest in. A positive, safe environment for people to learn and engage in exploring ones sexual self. I know a lot of what I've learned is from personal experiences, but there was a great deal that I read in books or saw on TV that shaped the beginnings of my sexual identity. I didn't have friends I could talk to about sex, because we were so closed off to the topic, and now I'm the one they go to for advice.
I say all this to say that I am here for you to vent to, listen to stories, answer questions and help you on your sexual journey, be it from the big girl perspective, woman perspective or the black woman perspective. Whatever you need, use me as a resource on your journey. You are not alone! If I can't answer your question, let's find out the answer together.

10 Rules I Live By:

1. I never let a man believe he is more than he is. No ego stroking, because all it does is perpetuate macho behavior and unattractive "confidence".
2. Do more than you show. Don't hide your life, but you don't need to boost everything to grab the glory or be in the spotlight
3. Give as much love as you receive. When you give to much of yourself up front, there is nothing to look forward to later. Your personality becomes dated and passe'.
4. Personal goals are personal for a reason. Everyone doesn't need to be in your business.
5. Love is a four letter word. Commitment is an action. Sex is a game. 
6. Don't ask more of others than you would ask of yourself, mentally, physically, emotionally. If you can't do it for yourself don't expect others to do it for you either.
7. Phone etiquette is the new society standard. Either learn it or leave.
8. If I cut you from my life or vice versa, don't expect me to come back and I wouldn't expect you to come back either.
9. Take me as I am, because that's how I take others. I don't judge you for your experiences, so don't judge me.
10. If I give you my body, treat it with passion. If I give you my heart, treat it with love. If I give you my soul, treat it with kindness.

Advice I give, but don't always follow

I am the last person to tell anyone how to live their life, but this is advice I constantly hear being thrown around and I know I am working hard to follow all of them.

1. Be You: if you're a big girl, stop trying to be a skinny mini. You are not that size and if you envy that size lose the weight and get there. Either be happy where you are or change yourself. Just keep in mind that it doesn't matter what you look like if you hate yourself. Your appearance won't make you happy.
2. Be Healthy: Most bodies will never be supermodel status, but it's not about that, it's about keeping your heart healthy and your body happy. If you eat junk your body will feel like trash. It is literally that simple. A balanced diet with body positive foods will naturally lose the fat. 
3. Be Happy: Take the time to enjoy the things that make you smile. From the small things to the big, appreciate what makes you smile and continue to allow them in your life. Take time for yourself, but don't forget to spread joy to others.
4. Be Righteous: I don't mean in the religious sense of the word, because I know people come from different backgrounds. I mean it in the true sense of the definition. Be a pillar of morality and more good will come to you. People will leave their demons at home when they approach you, because they respect your positive energy.
5. Be Humble: Take the success as well as you took the failures. It never comes overnight so when it does, be gracious to those that helped you and to those that admire what you do. People may not remember what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.