Let's Talk About SEX!

I know the title may have gotten your attention, but this post won't be telling you about my latest escapade or exploit. There is nothing I could talk about on this subject that would be new and exciting or even different for that matter. However, what I have come to realize is that we take for granted the wealth of knowledge accessible to us about sex, because we are taught shame when it comes to sex. We, women especially never learn about the pleasures, because if we enjoy it, it makes us less "pure".
Before I get up on my soapbox and talk about the gender inequalities when it comes to sex, let me get back to the point. Which just in case you missed it was taking for granted the wealth of knowledge available to people. Far too often we don't know what questions to ask or where to begin to explore our sexuality or even sensuality. I know there are plenty of forums that you can ask questions on, but do people really feel like its a safe place to ask questions and get answers? There are so many perverts and just straight up assholes on those sites that I feel like people that want authentic answers don't get heard because of the nonsense that isn't filtered or regulated. Maybe other people can point me in the right direction, but that is something I think we should invest in. A positive, safe environment for people to learn and engage in exploring ones sexual self. I know a lot of what I've learned is from personal experiences, but there was a great deal that I read in books or saw on TV that shaped the beginnings of my sexual identity. I didn't have friends I could talk to about sex, because we were so closed off to the topic, and now I'm the one they go to for advice.
I say all this to say that I am here for you to vent to, listen to stories, answer questions and help you on your sexual journey, be it from the big girl perspective, woman perspective or the black woman perspective. Whatever you need, use me as a resource on your journey. You are not alone! If I can't answer your question, let's find out the answer together.

So i'm a whore because I don't want you?

This post is not size specific, but I experienced it recently. I have a provocative nature, that I enjoy embracing, so I do and occasionally it is the target of some unwanted attention. I was talking to a guy for a few days and it just didn't work out. We weren't compatible, and I may not have conveyed my lack of interest in the way he found suitable. Don't get me wrong, I understand when people don't communicate the way you want it can be frustrating. Our conversation finally came to an end and we were no longer in pursuit of anything more. The relationship of knowing another person wasn't going to continue to grow, so I see nothing wrong with not being in contact with someone anymore. I un-friended him on facebook and as a result he lashed out at me, because he was salty about it. If you are done with someone why would you want to see them in your timeline/news feed. He proceeded to send me messages, harassed me, called me out of my name, and just escalating a situation that was unnecessary. When you found my page on tumblr, you were interested in getting "with me" and getting to know me, but now that I un-friended you on a social media site, I am an "attention seeking whore", "insecure", "ho", "basic bitch", and I lie about my life online. None of which is true, you're just angry about a situation that shouldn't matter because I knew you for less than a week. But to put the icing on the cake, after all this drama and unwarranted hostility, he asks to kiss and make up. What kind of bi-polar/psycho nonsense is that? I'm a ho because I un-friended you, but your first message to me was "Do you know how bad I want you?".
This is a harassment cycle that is not okay. If a man or woman is not interested why do you feel it is okay to attack their character or personality? Especially when you don't actually know them. We lash out because someone doesn't like us, but it is not anyone's fault. It is okay to not like someone and it is okay to not be liked by someone. No matter how much it sucks, there are 7 BILLION other people on the planet, and keeping that in perspective, one person not liking you is irrelevant. I don't get, but I guess to each their own.