Friday, November 29, 2013

Single or Single and Dating?

I find it interesting when I get approached by men of all ages and they ask me if I am single. Especially when they really mean are you dating anyone/involved with other people. I feel that the lines of communication are ruptured from the very beginning when you don't ask a clear question to get the desired answer. Because I can tell you I am single, but I could be dating 3+ guys but not be attached exclusively to any of them. This whole topic came about when a friend of mine was getting hit on by this young man; She is currently talking to another man, but as the case may be they are not exclusive. She is free to date whom ever she likes, but from the question posed by new guy, he is lead to believe she is unattached and not pursuing any other relationships. Needless to say when I asked her about her guy, we got into the discussion of the whole situation.
*Is it an obligation of the askee to fully disclose any and all information pertaining to the question or answer the question as vaguely as its asked? I guess it depends on how you feel or how interested you are in the person doing the asking.*
If you don't fully disclose and it comes out later that you are being a "player" so to speak, your partner may break up with you. It can also lead to trust issues if you do ever become exclusive. While there are negatives, it can also come with positives such as "an upgrade so to speak" from the person you are with. Before we get all Beyonce' wannabe on me, the person you're with may not be the right person for you to achieve your highest greatness.
If you do fully disclose, they could be ratchet and continue to pursue you in the process breaking up the couple. They could also be a potential soul mate that is no longer interested because you are otherwise occupied with someone else.
At any rate, go for the honesty in dealing with new relationships. I know from my own experiences old and new, I haven't always been up front, and I am far from perfect, so with my flaws have come learning, and experience; Love lost and love gained keeping the honesty flowing keeps relationships lasting.

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